It's January, and resolutions are still ringing in the air. Or wherever resolutions hang out. I haven't exactly seen one lately. I'm normally not one for new years resolutions because statistically, they don't seem very effective. I intended to start getting healthier and more educated last summer though, and since I've gotten very bad at that again, I thought now might be a good time to start.
My resolutions this year: Write 2018 instead of 2017 (failed); don't search for a different song on phone while driving (failed); work out 3x per week (failed); shower twice a week (failed); read at least one whole book every month (still hope on this one); stop buying products with sugar (this one needs to be more specific; I'm not sure if I've failed it or not yet); advance to a 7th grade proficiency in common core subjects (haven't actually started on this one). It's only the third week of 2018 and my resolutions turned out to not be very strong. But I was expecting this, which is why I'm still working out occasionally and haven't taken the shower alarms off my phone. I think that's the thing that makes a resolution different from a lifestyle change; you can fail a resolution, but you can still keep trying to change your lifestyle one day at a time.
Related to health and fitness, I've been encouraging a friend of mine to loose weight. I don't really care how fat my friends are, but she wants to loose weight, so I'd be a terrible friend if I didn't care at all. She's made some great progress, and I'm proud of her. On her down days, I always ask her, "why do you want to loose this weight? What's your goal, and why does it mean so much to you?" This is to motivate her because she wants to get to 130lb so her boyfriend thinks she's sexy. I already think she's sexy enough, but apparently this motivates her a lot. She likes to throw in things like, "I'll feel healthier, less tired; I won't have to worry about diabetes, and my mom and I will be able to share clothes again." I think she mostly wants to have more sex with her boyfriend, but she can't help but throw in these common catchphrases that gyms and phys ed classes have been throwing around for basically as long as they've existed. And being me, I have to ponder these a bit.
As you might guess if you've read some of my other posts, I'm not really concerned with looking sexy. I think health is something relatively important, but only when it's convenient. I suppose part of this is because I have chronic illness, specifically a nerve condition that makes it unlikely that I'll ever feel healthy again in my life, as well as depression, migraines, and an increased aptitude for catching colds and bad moods. I got a card the other day from a dear friend who was very concerned when I made a joke about how I'm unwanted due to my unmarried status; he informed me that I am beautiful both inside and out, and that I don't need to talk like I'm unlovable just because I'm unmarried. It was sweet, but also cringy. I get that he doesn't know me super well and that he's doing the best he can to encourage me, but please encourage me to live life fully, to explore my passions and talents, and to love fully and well, not to need constant reassurance that I'm aesthetically pleasing.
This brings me back to an interesting conversation that Mother and I have been having about the bible study occurring in her church. I don't know the name of the study, but when I describe it, I'm sure you'll be able to find dozens of examples of Christianese drivel that panders to the same unspoken need. The study is on the topic of food and how women in the church need to feed their bodies so they can be best equipped to serve god. It hits on the essential topics of avoiding food addiction, delighting in the fact that god sees every one of his daughters as beautiful princesses, and how losing weight is actually an act of worship. How is losing weight an act of worship? Because it means you're no longer living to yourself and blindly following the devil's snare of comfort eating, but you are choosing to live healthy and strong so that you'll be ready when god asks you to run a marathon to share the gospel with someone 32 miles away.
Okay, I'm not even paraphrasing anymore, but this is my blog, and I have creative license. The point is, this study was intently implying that being fat and unhealthy is sinful, whereas being healthy and religiously caring for your body is holy and the way that god best uses women. But also that they're beautiful no matter what.
So, where do I begin? Being the intelligent reader that you are, I'm sure that you've noted the inconsistency in the idea that you must be healthy to serve god. There is nowhere in the bible where it has ever been indicated, "and the LORD searched the whole earth for someone perfectly healthy to do his will. Fortunately, there was a whole group of women who had been sharing vegan recipes and set up accountability partners to go to the gym 3x a week with each other, and thus god was pleased." In fact, my cursory glimpses into the bible seem to indicate that god isn't at all hindered by the health, weight, language, color, relative beauty, talent, or lack thereof of his servants. God doesn't seem to care much whether an individual feels ready to serve based on years of training and paleo diets. In my experience, He simply says, "Go, show love; I'll meet you there."
When did god's people decide that telling little girls they're beautiful takes precedence over telling them that they're horrible sinners that god chooses to love despite all their shortcomings and they can be saved? When did beautiful become something that we need to feel? Why is it so wrong to tell a teenage girl that she's just average-looking? We all want to feel beautiful, but god has so much more for us than that. Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
I guess what I'm trying to say here is that somewhere along the lines, I've accepted the fact that being healthy is a desirable goal; that being good-looking and feeling great are important things to strive for. In some ways, this is so. There are advantages to being beautiful and tall and professional and attractive; life is easier when you're not vomiting, having asthma attacks, or shooting up with insulin. But I think it's silly to equate that with being holy and doing God's will. God never said one has to be healthy to belong in his Kingdom; nor did he say to neglect to care for one's body. We've taken something that is currently culturally important and tried to fit it into our idea of religiosity. But god didn't say, "I want you to have high self-esteem," He said, "I love you; love one another."
My resolutions this year: Write 2018 instead of 2017 (failed); don't search for a different song on phone while driving (failed); work out 3x per week (failed); shower twice a week (failed); read at least one whole book every month (still hope on this one); stop buying products with sugar (this one needs to be more specific; I'm not sure if I've failed it or not yet); advance to a 7th grade proficiency in common core subjects (haven't actually started on this one). It's only the third week of 2018 and my resolutions turned out to not be very strong. But I was expecting this, which is why I'm still working out occasionally and haven't taken the shower alarms off my phone. I think that's the thing that makes a resolution different from a lifestyle change; you can fail a resolution, but you can still keep trying to change your lifestyle one day at a time.
Related to health and fitness, I've been encouraging a friend of mine to loose weight. I don't really care how fat my friends are, but she wants to loose weight, so I'd be a terrible friend if I didn't care at all. She's made some great progress, and I'm proud of her. On her down days, I always ask her, "why do you want to loose this weight? What's your goal, and why does it mean so much to you?" This is to motivate her because she wants to get to 130lb so her boyfriend thinks she's sexy. I already think she's sexy enough, but apparently this motivates her a lot. She likes to throw in things like, "I'll feel healthier, less tired; I won't have to worry about diabetes, and my mom and I will be able to share clothes again." I think she mostly wants to have more sex with her boyfriend, but she can't help but throw in these common catchphrases that gyms and phys ed classes have been throwing around for basically as long as they've existed. And being me, I have to ponder these a bit.
As you might guess if you've read some of my other posts, I'm not really concerned with looking sexy. I think health is something relatively important, but only when it's convenient. I suppose part of this is because I have chronic illness, specifically a nerve condition that makes it unlikely that I'll ever feel healthy again in my life, as well as depression, migraines, and an increased aptitude for catching colds and bad moods. I got a card the other day from a dear friend who was very concerned when I made a joke about how I'm unwanted due to my unmarried status; he informed me that I am beautiful both inside and out, and that I don't need to talk like I'm unlovable just because I'm unmarried. It was sweet, but also cringy. I get that he doesn't know me super well and that he's doing the best he can to encourage me, but please encourage me to live life fully, to explore my passions and talents, and to love fully and well, not to need constant reassurance that I'm aesthetically pleasing.
This brings me back to an interesting conversation that Mother and I have been having about the bible study occurring in her church. I don't know the name of the study, but when I describe it, I'm sure you'll be able to find dozens of examples of Christianese drivel that panders to the same unspoken need. The study is on the topic of food and how women in the church need to feed their bodies so they can be best equipped to serve god. It hits on the essential topics of avoiding food addiction, delighting in the fact that god sees every one of his daughters as beautiful princesses, and how losing weight is actually an act of worship. How is losing weight an act of worship? Because it means you're no longer living to yourself and blindly following the devil's snare of comfort eating, but you are choosing to live healthy and strong so that you'll be ready when god asks you to run a marathon to share the gospel with someone 32 miles away.
Okay, I'm not even paraphrasing anymore, but this is my blog, and I have creative license. The point is, this study was intently implying that being fat and unhealthy is sinful, whereas being healthy and religiously caring for your body is holy and the way that god best uses women. But also that they're beautiful no matter what.
So, where do I begin? Being the intelligent reader that you are, I'm sure that you've noted the inconsistency in the idea that you must be healthy to serve god. There is nowhere in the bible where it has ever been indicated, "and the LORD searched the whole earth for someone perfectly healthy to do his will. Fortunately, there was a whole group of women who had been sharing vegan recipes and set up accountability partners to go to the gym 3x a week with each other, and thus god was pleased." In fact, my cursory glimpses into the bible seem to indicate that god isn't at all hindered by the health, weight, language, color, relative beauty, talent, or lack thereof of his servants. God doesn't seem to care much whether an individual feels ready to serve based on years of training and paleo diets. In my experience, He simply says, "Go, show love; I'll meet you there."
When did god's people decide that telling little girls they're beautiful takes precedence over telling them that they're horrible sinners that god chooses to love despite all their shortcomings and they can be saved? When did beautiful become something that we need to feel? Why is it so wrong to tell a teenage girl that she's just average-looking? We all want to feel beautiful, but god has so much more for us than that. Charm is deceptive and beauty is fleeting, but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.
I guess what I'm trying to say here is that somewhere along the lines, I've accepted the fact that being healthy is a desirable goal; that being good-looking and feeling great are important things to strive for. In some ways, this is so. There are advantages to being beautiful and tall and professional and attractive; life is easier when you're not vomiting, having asthma attacks, or shooting up with insulin. But I think it's silly to equate that with being holy and doing God's will. God never said one has to be healthy to belong in his Kingdom; nor did he say to neglect to care for one's body. We've taken something that is currently culturally important and tried to fit it into our idea of religiosity. But god didn't say, "I want you to have high self-esteem," He said, "I love you; love one another."
