I look at a baby, and there are a lot of likable things about it, but babies are pretty much the last thing on my list of things with which to have a romantic relationship--and that list includes paintings and potted plants. Er, scratch that, there are some things that just shouldn't be on that list, and babies are one of them.Please, love babies. Do not consider them as romantic or sexual partners. Do Not.
I asked the children what they thought of this. We listen to a lot of annoying pop songs on the radio, and I had noticed that "baby" still hasn't died out as a common hook in a song. So, I asked the children what they thought about this. The 7 year old replied that you should love your boyfriend or girlfriend as much as you love a baby, but she agreed that you don't love them in the same way. The other children didn't say much, preferring to ignore the question.
Now, on the one hand, calling a partner "baby" does signal something warm and gentle, as well as a desire to protect. This would be lovely if that were how the term were used. But consider the derivative "babe" which generally implies a voluptuous, scantily clad woman. Not someone soft and quiet and helpless.
Is this a ploy to infantalize people? To make our partners feel helpless and wimpy? Reportedly the term goes back to the 17th century at least, at which point women were very much considered inferior in many ways to men. Well, that's not okay with me.
So, what to do? I don't suppose I can convince the world to stop using the word "baby" as a romantic term, but I wish I could. I personally refuse to be called "baby" by anyone.
I was delighted to discover a EDM band that considered this and gave me back some of my pride as a human by using the word "lady" where other songs might use "baby." Obviously this would sound silly in Justin Bieber's song "baby." The word "lady" is much more formal and impersonal. But you know, words matter, and given the choice, I'd rather take the term that grants me respect and graciousness rather than one that implies that I'm a helpless sexual object.
