While searching for the perfect ingredients for a poisoned apple beverage, I informed a shopkeeper that I needed a candy apple. The man replied, "are you sure you need it, or do you just want it?" I'm sure I had to come up with a silly comeback because that is a silly question.
I understand that we teach children this distinction because they tend to exaggerate their desire for a new toy or snack or whatever fancy takes root in their brains at the time. Need is a strong term, but I think that it's foolish to continue questioning need versus want for one simple reason.
Need implies a condition. I need X in order to X. Technically speaking, no one ever needs anything. You might need food, but only in order to survive. If you don't care to survive, eating is no longer a necessity. You might need a raise, but only in order to avoid going broke. If you don't care whether you're homeless and in debt, getting a raise no longer becomes a need.
Need becomes confused with want when the result is something awkward or unecessary. For example, I need to eat a piece of candy so I can enjoy its flavor. I need to see a new movie in order to be able to talk about it with my friends. I need a candy apple in order to make the perfect poisoned apple beverage. Need, therefore, is not about how badly you want the thing you reportedly need, but how important and specific the result is. When a child needs a new toy, they might mean they don't think they can be happy without it. But as an adult, I can look at the situation from a different perspective and note that happiness is entirely possible without the new toy. A "need" for a new toy in order to be happy is not specific (happiness can be achieved in other ways) or important (it's okay to not be happy sometimes).
Truly, I don't need to concoct the perfect poisoned apple beverage. The result of concocting said beverage is that I will feel slightly more accomplished and will have enjoyed my time with friends at the Halloween party just a little more. But I don't need any of those things. Accomplishment and enjoyment are not necessary to my being. However, if the results clause is "in order to create this beverage" as an end in itself, then, yes, I need a candied apple, because it is impossible to make the drink without one.
Anyway, kiddos, the point is that it's okay to need things. People question your motives and objectives, but if, in order to achieve a desired outcome, you need a certain thing, then it is perfectly appropriate to use that word. Saying, "I want a candied apple" would have been untrue in the above circumstance, because I don't, in fact, like candied apples. Saying you want something makes the thing an end in itself. You don't want something in order to accomplish something else. Want is intransitive.
This distinction between wants and needs is not framed properly when we say, "you need food, but you don't need a new toy." It is equally true that you might want food and want a new toy. However, there is an implied results clause in each. It would be more true to say, "you need food to be comfortable, but you don't need a new toy to be comfortable."
